वैदेही-II

Monsoon had started and in vicinity of one of the National University's Campus, Ram, an IPS officer was preparing to write for civils again, a guy who was passionate not for uniform but for authority. With onset of autumn he joined NPA, a place where Ram joined because of destiny of getting closer to Vaidehi, a girl residing in Bangalore whom he met via social networking site in midst of preparation. They both use to chat when officers had pre-dinner meeting or other cultural events where he use to sit in last row with two of his close buddies. Though after getting connected to her he had deleted his profile from fb but their friendship continued via gtalks which further got to skype and google hangouts. Ram was a guy who speaks less and had heart of person from village, who prefers to drink tea from roadside stalls than in coffee shops and gets happiness in the same, in short a guy attached to his roots, who respect every soul present in nature.

His interview was in second week of March, near to his birthday he was the second last candidate in board of Sirohi Madam forenoon's session as second last candidate. With days getting close for declaration of result, Ram had requested Vaidehi to analyze his horoscope who was well versed in ancient science. The planets were moving in favorable side and the position of sun was so strong and auspicious after his 28^th bday that she become sure that Ram will be shine like a star and had assured Ram about the same. Aspirants use to know about tentative dates of result declaration and both of them were tensed and unable to sleep and talk till late nights where once when to lighten his mood Vaidehi asked that why he speaks so less he replied that see dear, we both are from opposite sex and are not brother and sister, so I speaks less to avoid any useless talks between us. That was perhaps the day Vaidehi really started to respect him as till date she met very few civil servant with such an amazing ethics and morality. Ram was a person who knew the line of limit of friend and Vaidehi was proud to have a gem like him and once random thought came in her mind to have person like Ram as life partner. Finally, the D-day came she was overjoyed by seeing his name in top 15. Her happiness couldnot be explained in words and after getting into conscious she called him to inform the same. It was quite surprising for her to observe that the excitement she had in her voice for success of Ram couldnot been seen in his voice. She was unable to guess was this common for him not to express his emotions or whether he had mastered his emotions?

Months passed and both of them were engaged in doing silly things like searching profiles of all people who stood in rank before him and had seen whether they are from same state or not…It seemed there was only one-two girl before him who belong to same state and he was tensed for his cadre allocation as for general internal vacancies never exceeds two only for that state. With time Ram had gone busy with various attachments and had told Vaidehi regarding his busy life because of which he became unable to get in touch and stated “Please do not think that I changed with result/rank, if there is any change in me after result I am sorry for that”. Vaidehi could completely understand the status of Ram who was a simple person and now suddenly had came into lame-light, where his presence had made negligible impact on anyone’s life now everyone was trying to use him name and trying friend with him to such extent where he himself had started feeling that he doesnot want to go to his fb profile now which seemed to be like of some stranger. The relationship between them was of close friend who share every small issue and in midst of every small conversation perhaps a new and unavoidable relationship and feeling was getting germinated what couldn’t be ascertained by any of them.

Officers were going to greyhounds and Ram had choosen to be on an extraordinary holiday before joining lbsnaa, where sometime now they again get time to chat. Ram felt that Vaidehi had feeling for someone what she is not speaking up and had asked her to tell if she needs any help. Vaidehi was thinking of clearing exam first, getting par and then let him know about these things but alas, she couldnot made to exam and the failure devastated her, not because she couldnot get the blue beaconed car but because of fear of losing Ram and, the fear of cannot telling him about her feeling was hurting me more than anything. After all, she left her job and had came to delhi just to get Ram but the fear what was in her mind can now be seen in Ram’s talk. Ram after joining academy had become Krishna and finally had felt in love with someone from academy. Now, the content of their talk changed where he use to ask interpretation of action/words of lady officer. A budding poet was budding both inside Ram and Vaidehi and they use to share their writings from time to time ...what vaidehi wrote was for Ram and what Ram wrote was for that lady officer who was about to get married to some other guy she loved soon.It was perhaps because of his new content of talk where impatiently once vaidehi acknowledged her likening and got an expected reply-‘Thanks for liking and I would love to be your friend for life’. 

Perhaps she also knows that his reply would be the same, but man accepts truth only after hearing from own’s ears. In midst of indirect rejection Vaidehi and engaged and had kept negligible touch with Ram. In mean time, cadre allocation came and he got cadre of his 2^nd choice. Aspirants use to fill pages on social reforms but after clearing civils most of them get themselves settled into family of big fries, some get married to change cadres and a negligible amount of people do what is ethically correct.

                         “If I am really a part of your dream, I’ll come back one day”

Destiny plays games and after ten months of this incident, Vaidehi got to know that her father had gone to his father for matrimony alliance via their family astrologer, a renowned astrologer who had rendered his service for Nepal’s Royal family in past. According to The Brahmin two horoscope matches a lot with Ram and there are strong chances that if they becomes life partner they shall give birth to special child as the weak graha of one is conterfilled by other. She started dreaming again and started getting hallucinations, she never accepted second person in her life and kept waiting for him. Again the contact was re-established and they started talking again till one day Vaidehi got to know via her father that his marriage is nearly finalized with a girl from another cadre for what he was searching and they may get engaged soon. Till now, Vaidehi also had got to now that image of Ram was bit absurd type in academy, where it was clear to his batchmate that a person like Ram just tries to show himself as Saint, either his father will sell him for dowy or he will do CBM (Cadre Based Marraige). With introduction of Ethics and Morality based question the ethics and morality of officers somewhere got compromised where making relationships for profit was common. Many stories related to it are being told everyday with sip of tea but when it comes to a person the person cant accept it.The batch was in Singapore for some training but who can control emotions of a lady when her soul gets on fire. I doubt even Brahma have that ability.

“Had you cleared, things would had been different”

Vaidehi was shaken from inside by hearing these lines. It was something she never had expected to hear from her Ram. With family talking to each other in regular interval for matrimonial alliance and their old friendship had grown to level ahead ,she started dreaming of her future life with Ram as her better half, where her morning shall start with a glance and warmth of Ram and ends with good night hug.

The line had such devastating experience that it seemed someone had rubbed bucketful of salt on her burnt soul. She requested him to take decision wisely as it was not only their friendship but something more than that. Nothing worked and she became silent with single line that a marriage is not end of life, it it fails I shall marry again.

The incidence of past start revolving around her eyes and she felt cheated, cheated by destiny, cheated by universe where the entire universe has perhaps conspired against her. She was wondering spending time together with sip of tea and walking for long in crowded streets of Mecca & Medina of civils preparation,travelling to delhi again and again to just spend few hours to share few glasses and words, were they useless...were they nuisense..do girls are really an emotional fool who cant judge who is right or wrong for their life...the warmth of hugs, the unusual conversations, was that all false?

Does clearing services become single criteria for becoming’s life partner of the person you love or people after getting into civils become  mechanically baptized to a level that they make every single relation for their profit. What was purpose of such a wasteful life where a lady who lived a non compromising life may have to do compromise in this stage what is supposed to be the most important part of human's life?

She had option of keeping the friendship only but it was better to move forward, to a world where only professional life which will be completely devoid of emotions, sentiments and love and where only success,money and recognization matters. This incident created a hatred inside her for the service. It was August and exam of the prestigious civil services arrived,the same exam what she now hated from core of her heart but inspite of sitting for exams purposely she chooses to fly out to of city to hills where perhaps she may take a final decision. There was no purpose for her to give the exam now.After a month she accepted to Ram "its true that the memories what where created can’t be not deleted nor it can be rewind but It will be better for both of us to move forward. Thanx for everything". Henceforth,with mutual consent perhaps they decided to move forward in their respective personal life knowing the bitter truth that sometime still they may have to work together because of professional life.

Ram has become infidel Krishna and decided to move on in life with one of her female batchmate, the real Vaidehi,daughter of Videh  somewhere had bcum emotionally numb in midst of all this  and had moved on in quest of  ticking all of her materialistic dreams.

Do you want to meet her, go someday to city, perhaps you may find her roaming alone, sitting alone in some coffee shop/ in some other food outlet or in some park enjoying the solitudeness...the silence and the perhaps still waiting with hope left inside that opposite table shall be taken by her  Ram soon....                

                                                         S..O..M..E..D..A...Y

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During my stay in various part of country's capital i came across a number of stories like one have penned down.Among all i found 3-4 stories to be quite different and finally decided to give name to above mentioned story. I feel thankful to person(s) from both sex who shared their life with what made me to fill real emotion in story.

I cant console any one,neither want to console,just feel bad for them..dont want to console them, just wanted to say that: